Oct 16, 2014 | Bout News

Season 11 Preview: Meet the Roller Grrrrrrrrls

By Fire Wally

As the leaves turn and a crisp chill returns to the air, fans of the Minnesota RollerGirls know that another exciting home season is just around the corner. In just over a day, your Minnesota RollerGirls will be returning to the Roy Wilkins Auditorium for their 11th Season. With our Home Opener, the four home teams will conclude a hectic summer of personnel changes, intense workouts, and a fresh rookie draft. Each team has exciting new additions and important challenges to face in the coming season. Let's take a look at what's new for each team.

Garda Belts

Who They Are: Here to protect (their jammers) and serve (up a beating), the Garda Belts celebrated MNRG Season 10 with their first Golden Skate trophy. Despite losing some headline-worthy skaters, the Gardas do not plan on waiting 10 more years to collect another season title.

Skaters Not Returning: Cassie Roll, Wolfe Bite, Soft Serve, and Rita Rawkus. Slambda Phage has moved to All-Star only.

The Draftees: Siren Annie, Zelda Hitzgerald, Beach Slap, and Bri Zuss join the Gardas out of Boot Camp.

Other Additions: Crust Almighty returns after a year as an All-Star only skater, and Suzie Smashbox comes out of retirement and back into a green jersey. Ida Sockher joins the Gardas as a late Summer transfer from the Babe City Rollers.

The Challenge: There's no way around it, losing your top-scoring jammer (Phage) to a cross-country move is a rough blow. The Gardas' chances to keep the golden skate in the precinct trophy case depend on developing a scoring threat that can replace Slambda Phage.


Who They Are: These intergalactic warriors have numbers beyond what you can dial. They've got the most Golden Skate trophies to their name - maybe it's because they're so versatile? Perennially the fastest team on the league, they'll run the marathon to the very last mile.

Skaters Not Returning: Commander Nix, Coochie Coup and Frau Scientits. Dreidel Robber has moved to All-Star only.

The Draftees: Obscene Sheen and (un-retiring) Mae Gusta

Other Additions: Myrna Ploy joins the Rockits as a transfer from the Garda Belts. Harmony Killerbruise and Scarmen Hellectra return from All-Star only status.

The Challenge: The Rockits' last year was a roller coaster: moments of brilliance, but too many long scoring droughts and power jam opportunities given up. They'll have to bring the full intensity for 40 hard minutes to earn their fifth golden skate.

Atomic Bombshells

Who They Are: These radioactive rollergirls are here to make a mess of the competition and clean up whatever remains. The core of the team that won the Golden Skate in 2013 remains, and they have their eyes on another shot at the title.

Skaters Not Returning: Former captain Ema Leethal is taking a sabbatical to travel the world.

The Draftees: None (An already-full roster meant the Bombshells did not select anyone from the Boot Camp draft.)

Other Additions: Naughty Kitty joins the Bombshells from the Dagger Dolls.

The Challenge: Keeping many veterans and all of last year's strong rookie class puts the Bombshells on great footing, but there's a big gap between "promising rookie" and "champion skater." If the Bombshells don't work hard at practice, they'll risk leaving their team on a plateau.

Dagger Dolls

Who They Are: They're cute. They're killers. They've got something to prove after the last home season. After winning the Gilded Steak only to go winless the rest of the season, these candy-coated nightmares have a bad taste in their mouth, but they've got some new skaters that will make this team even sweeter - and more deadly.

Skaters Not Returning: Norwegian Mafia, Destiny's Problem Child, Sinaminn, and Barbie Brawl. Moto Fluzzi transferred to the Dolls, but is taking a non-skating role this season.

The Draftees: Freddy and Jacked Pipes.

Other Additions: MEDUSA drops All-Star only status to join the Dolls. Dementia Darling transfers from the Garda Belts.

The Challenge: Getting an incredible veteran like MEDUSA and the #1 draft pick in Jacked Pipes at the same time is a great way to boost a team, but individual performances only go so far in roller derby. The Dolls will have to integrate the new talent quickly into a cohesive game plan to start their road to the Golden Skate.

The Gilded Steak

That's our tongue-in-cheek name for the mini-tournament designed to showcase the teams' new rosters at the start of each home season. Come this Saturday and you'll see four mini-bouts that will give us all the first real picture of where these teams stand. As always, get your tickets in advance to reserve a seat for another incredible season of roller derby in St. Paul.