Saturday October 14th, Hi, Derby!, @Roy Wilkins Auditorium

Saturday October 14th, 2023

Bout 1: Bodies of Water vs Wednesday Warnings

The season’s first bout was a rematch of last year’s championship, with the Bodies of Water hoping to exact revenge on the Wednesday Warnings. Chippa Tooth got the Bodies off to a good start with a 4-0 jam, but this was quickly answered by back-to-back 3-0 jams for the Wednesday Warnings. The next jam was 4-4, then The Quacken (in her first-ever MNRD jam) retook the lead for the Bodies of Water, 12-11. That started a run for her team, as Chippa Tooth, Fanny Smack, and Ginger Snap scored 7, 2, and 8 points respectively to give the Bodies of Water a 29-11 lead. However, the next jam was absolutely massive for the Wednesday Warnings. Skatey Gaga put up 28 points to Bi Fieri’s 1 to take back the lead for the Warnings, 39-30. Her 28 points was the most by anyone in a single jam all night. However, back-to-back 4-0 jams for the Bodies of Water brought it back to a 1-point bout, 39-38. The next jam was scoreless, then Bri Zuss put up 10 to extend the Wednesday Warnings’ lead to 49-38. Bodies of Water regained the lead in the following jam, as Chippa Tooth won it 17-4 to make the score 55-53. That was followed by another scoreless jam. After that, Fanny Smack scored 8 to take the lead up to 10 for the Bodies. Wednesday Warnings answered with a 4-0 jam, but the next jam was 4-2 in favor of the Bodies of Water, despite jammer Ginger Snap committing two penalties. The final jam of the half featured Val Kyrie scoring 4 for the Warnings to cut the lead to 67-63 at the half. Still, it was dangerous territory for the defending champs.

The second half opened with a scoreless jam, then Fanny Smack scored the first 2 points of the half for the Bodies of Water in the following jam. Bodies of Water took the next jam as well, 6-3, to take the lead to 75-66. That was followed by an 11-0 jam for The Quacken that gave the Bodies a 20-point lead. Wednesday Warnings tried to fight back, with Venom scoring 18 in the next jam. However, in that same jam, Chippa Tooth scored 13 to keep the Warnings from putting too much of a dent in the lead. Bodies of Water then extended that lead, with an 8-0 jam for Fanny Smack and a 6-0 jam for Ginger Snap. Bri Zuss followed with an 8-0 jam for the Warnings, bringing the scoreline to 113-94. The Wednesday Warnings failed to score in the next three jams, though, giving up a total of 10 points to make the score 123-94. Bri Zuss won the next jam 9-4, but a 5-0 jam for The Quacken canceled that out. The next two jams ended even (4-4 and 1-1), then The Quacken scored 3 in the next jam to take the score to 140-108. The teams traded 4-0 jams to end the bout, making the final score 144-112 in favor of the Bodies of Water. With that, they were able to avenge their loss in last year’s title games, while also handing the Wednesday Warnings their first-ever loss.

Bout 2: Roller Vortex vs Maul Rats

The night’s second bout pitted the Maul Rats against the Roller Vortex. The Vortex hoped to get off to a better start than they did last year, when they finished the season 0-5. R.I.P.unzel scored 2 points in the first jam to give the Roller Vortex a quick lead, then Wheelie Nelson followed with 8 to extend the lead to 10-0. BooBoo put the Maul Rats on the board with 4 points in the next jam, but R.I.P.unzel answered with a 4-1 jam to bring the lead back up to 9. Wheelie Nelson scored 2 more for the Vortex in the next jam, but Triple Shock Latte then put up a massive 19-3 jam to give the Maul Rats their first lead of the night, 24-19. That lead was short-lived, however, as R.I.P.unzel scored 10 in the following jam to turn a 5-point deficit into a 5-point lead. The Vortex then added three straight 4-0 jams to increase the lead to 41-24. Triple Shock Latte finally stopped the bleeding with a 4-0 jam of her own, but the Roller Vortex were back to dominating in the following jam. Wheelie Nelson took advantage of a power jam to win it 12-4 and take the lead up to 53-32, then the Vortex took the next jam 11-8 to give themselves a 24-point advantage. In the final jam of the half, Lefse 4 Dead outscored Velvet Wench 12-4 to increase the Roller Vortex’s lead to 80-48 at halftime.

The Roller Vortex picked up right where they left off in the second half, as R.I.P.unzel put up a 16-0 jam to open the half. However, the Maul Rats followed by putting together a string of lead jams. They scored 4, 1, and 7, respectively, in their next three jams to cut the deficit to 96-60, though R.I.P.unzel followed with an 8-0 jam to extend the lead back to 44 points. Then came a string of long, high-scoring jams. It started when Kid Vicious and Wheelie Nelson traded passes for two minutes, with Kid Vicious and the Rats coming out on top, 24-7. The Roller Vortex gained some of their lead back in the next jam, with Lefse 4 Dead outscoring Gams 16-6. The Maul Rats responded with a 12-4 jam, but the Vortex answered back with a 15-4 jam to bring the scoreline to 146-106. The Vortex were able to kill a lot of time during this stretch, so the Rats needed something to happen soon. Unfortunately for them, the next two jams were 4-4, and they had very little time to make up a 40-point deficit. However, Triple Shock Latte scored 23 to Wheelie Nelson’s 8 in the next jam, bringing the deficit to a more manageable (but still hard to make up) 25 points. The next jam would be the last one of the bout, and it was up to BooBoo to pull off a miracle. She was able to get off to a great start, scoring the first 12 of the jam while R.I.P.unzel struggled. However, R.I.P.unzel passed the star to Anne T. Fascism, who scored 8 points to seal the bout. BooBoo finished the jam with 20, which would not have been enough anyway, bringing the final score to 170-157. This was the first-ever win for the Roller Vortex. Next month, on November 11, the Roller Vortex face the Bodies of Water, while the Maul Rats take on the Wednesday Warnings.

Written by: Aidan Hofstedt